You may not recognize that name. Her TikTok is under @domesticblisters. She's on Instagram. Her FB page is "Struggle Care".
Each of us has our own medicine basket and pill box. I star the lids of our daily meds and label the white space on the front what the med is for. This way I can easily pick out the meds I need without having to go through every single one. And I know what they are for and how immediate the need is for getting the refill on time.
I oftentimes forget to eat, especially if I'm super busy at work or if it was a really rough EMDR session/therapy. So I put together this basket in the pantry. Holds snacks for our family. Easy to toss in a lunchbox but also know when I need to shop for more snacks. And of course super easy for me to grab on the go or during a Teams meeting.
After closing duties. Is it sparkling? Nope. But it's functional for exactly what I need to do in the morning. I can go to bed knowing that I accomplished something and that I was kind to my future self. I deserve to live in a home that functions for me.
To the left is a bin where the dirty kitchen towels and cleaning rags go. One place that, when filled, I can just grab it and pop it into the washer. Next bin is recycling. Sure it's overflowing. Sometimes I take it out, sometimes I don't. But it's all right there and gives me easy access to break down boxes from the pantry/fridge items to the recycling bin, to then take out to the recycling can.
I first found out about KC through my FYP on TikTok. The very first video I watched was her time lapse on closing duties. I was astonished! You mean I don't have to function around my house, but instead my home functions around my brain?!?
Mind. Blown.
My silverware goes in the container that sits over the sink. Easy to find and I don't have to go through nasty stuff to grab and load it in the dishwasher. Cups go on that counter because we always forget we have one that exists with our current drink contents.
On one of her TikTok videos, she mentioned this little trick. All my dirty dishes sit on the rack, usually grouped together. This way my sink is cleared throughout the day/meals and I don't have to worry about moving things around.
One of my closing duties is choosing to be kind to my future self. So I make sure the dishes are done (or organized in the rack if I know that it's been a REALLY bad brain day). I make sure there's room on the island for me to place the ingredients needed for breakfast.
And it just so happens that I found her while doing counseling and EMDR, at a really bad point in my brain where I just wanted to give in to the depression and thoughts.
I've carried a lot of shame at how messy I am. I have a hard time keeping things clean. I hate doing chores, especially the dishes. Let's not even talk about the fact that I only fold laundry if I feel like it. Otherwise it just sits in the baskets. I'll toss socks and underwear in their drawers when I encounter them pulling out other clothes for the day. I've contemplated hiring someone to come clean the bathrooms because I freaking hate doing it. There's so many steps and it's hard for me to be:
clean the sink - 1) remove everything off, 2) put everything in its place when removing off, 3) wipe down objects as removing off, 4) replace/refill items as needed before removing off, 4) grab paper towels & mirror cleaner, 5) spray and wipe mirror, 6) put away mirror supplies, 7) go grab the cleaning cloth you left in the kitchen... again, 8) remind yourself you need to add a new cleaning cloth to the current bathroom cleaning bin so you don't do this again next time, 9) walk back to bathroom and get side tracked by all the other things you start doing as you head to the bathroom, 10) remember that you were cleaning the bathroom sometime later when you have to go use it but you can't because everything you moved is sitting on top of the toilet lid or haphazardly placed around the bathroom, 11) promptly be grateful for a 2nd bathroom and ignore the first bathroom because stress.
It's like this with so many tasks, even care tasks. A few weeks ago I got to head to Austin with a friend for KC's book signing. I had a blast and felt so validated...I wasn't alone in this! Mental health affects so much. CPTSD, ADHD, severe social anxiety, depression, night terrors, PNES.... there's been a lot of diagnosed issues (and I'm seriously grateful for meds!!) that make taking care of myself and my family impossible at times.
I often forget to do daily, necessary tasks to take care of myself. Not because I don't want to. More because my brain bounces around so much, or the exhaustion is real and the insomnia back, or it's a bad brain day and contemplating doing anything is hard. So there's a toothbrush and toothpaste in my kitchen. Easy to remember because it's right. There. Every morning. Every evening. And I have face wipes in the island drawer that holds the aluminum foil I wrap hubs breakfast burritos in. It's a win/win on getting my personal care in as well as taking care of my family.
When we moved into our new home, one thing hubs and I talked about is making our home functional for US, versus being slaves to our home. We gave away a ton of things in our local Buy Nothing Group. We threw away things and asked ourselves some pretty hard questions.
We got rid of over 2/3s of our closet because I can't stand having to wash a gazillion loads for two people. Laundry shouldn't be an all day event for us because we have too many clothes and we don't do laundry until we realize we're down to the last pair of underwear or socks. (It's the 🧦 that get us every time. 😂)
My goal was to make our lives easier as much as possible. And to stop feeling the shame that came every time I failed at "keeping house" the way I was taught or shown. And the heaviness that came with people telling me how messy I was, or how disgusting and "pigsty" it is. (That is not the way to motivate someone, by the way.)
To the left is a bin where the dirty kitchen towels and cleaning rags go. One place that, when filled, I can just grab it and pop it into the washer. Next bin is recycling. Sure it's overflowing. Sometimes I take it out, sometimes I don't. But it's all right there and gives me easy access to break down boxes from the pantry/fridge items to the recycling bin, to then take out to the recycling can.
So that's me in a nutshell when it comes to our home. We keep it real. I'm working on not apologizing when it's messy and chaotic. Mess is morally neutral. I'm not a bad/evil person because I'm messy. I'm a human that struggles. Sometimes our house is spotless. Other times there's piles of fluff everywhere from the fur babies. It's wonderful to step back and go, hey. I'm making progress. And it wouldn't have happened if KC didn't utilize her own life and story to share how she kept house while drowning.
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